Episode 12: When Your Life Changes, but Your Money Mindset Doesn’t

Today, I want to talk with you about what happens to our money mindsets when we go through major life transitions. What I’ve noticed is that while our financial lives can change dramatically, our financial mindsets often don’t always change with them.

Think of a life transition you’ve been through – graduating from school, getting married or divorced, growing a family, changing careers, retiring – and then think about the financial component of that transition. Did you go from earning close to nothing to bringing in a six-figure salary or vice versa? Did you gain or lose a dual-income? Did you need to think about paying for two college tuitions instead or one?

These transitions are pretty daunting on their own, and they become even more difficult when old money stories get involved. A very common one I see clients struggle with is a scarcity mindset. Maybe the most obvious example is when people stop working in retirement. We can spend decades building the habit of saving, investing, and being careful with money, and then one day that all changes, and you’re supposed to start spending some of it. A scarcity mindset can stop you from living the life you worked hard to attain.

So the question I’d love to explore is, what do you do when your life is transitioning but your money stories isn’t? I think an important nuance here is that the mindset itself may not be wrong. It may have been exactly what you needed for one point in your life. The issue is whether or not you need it for a particular life transition. I’ve had clients tell me that even though they’re doing very well financially after graduating, they still feel like a broke student, or people who feel ready to retire say that they are deeply uncomfortable with the idea of spending from their portfolio. And I’ve seen people who have plenty of financial flexibility continue to make decisions from a place of scarcity because that mindset feels like a part of who they are.

So I don’t think the goal is necessarily to fix your money mindset during a major life transition. I think it’s more about allowing the story to evolve too. You might ask yourself questions like, “What does the money do for me now? Am I carrying a mindset that used to protect me but is now limiting me? Or has my definition of what to be secure mean changed, or what success means changed? And am I making decisions based on the life I’m living today, or based on an older version of myself from five, 10, or even 20 years ago?”

I think this is where financial planning can be really useful. A good plan will evolve alongside your life. It should help create that clarity and flexibility you need, and most importantly, give you the confidence in the choices that you’re making. And I think that inner peace matters because even if you have a great plan for a life transition, if an old money story is getting in the way, it’ll be trickier to execute. So I’d encourage you to think about what season of life you’re in right now, and if you’re still making decisions based on an old money mindset or story that no longer fits with your current reality. I think it’s a really interesting question to sit with. I’d love to hear what comes up for you. Take care.