Where did you learn what to do with money? By default, family, friends, and the media often shape what we do or do not do with our own money. Some have called these our money “beliefs” or “scripts”. As money philosopher Jacob Needleman says, “Everyone is weird about money!” I would agree and add that the odd scripts and beliefs we’ve learned are the driving force behind a negative relationship with money. To read more about money scripts, check out Dr. Brad Klontz’ work.

While I received a great education, I never once discussed the subject of money in any of my classes. Being naturally curious, I picked up little money lessons by watching Suze Orman, reading books on personal finance, and hearing how people in my life were “successful” with their money. But ultimately, my script lacked permission to spend money on things that I liked. I believed I had to save every single penny I made.

Saving a ton of money sounds like a solid financial move, right? Not necessarily. Even though saving money is generally a good thing, the mentality of not spending anything was inhibiting me from doing things that would make my life more fulfilling.

What are your money beliefs?

I hear a variety of limiting beliefs from my clients: “Can I really spend my money on that?” “More money will solve all my problems.” “Who cares? It’s just money.” The real message behind all these statements is the same: “I don’t believe I can use my money for what I really want to do in my life.”

Without realizing it, we can let money write the story of our lives and not the other way around. Making more, spending more, or saving more without any reason eventually leads to an unhealthy and unsatisfying relationship with your money.

Without realizing it, we can let money write the story of our lives and not the other way around.

So how do you rewrite your script? Here are some key steps and questions to start with:

• Building Awareness: What are the internalized ideas that drive my daily choices about money?
• Asking “Why?”: Why do I think this way about money? Where did I learn how to do X with my money?
• Creating A Purpose: What are my bigger goals for my life? How am I using or not using money to reach those goals?
• Finding Support and Guidance: Who can I talk to about money? Who can help me understand my motivations behind my relationship with money?

When used for a purpose, money can help you give back to your community, travel, save for a child’s education, get rid of debt… whatever your life requires. Your beliefs about money can either be a positive guide or a limiting obstacle in reaching those goals. While you may have to do a little digging, understanding where they come from will give you the confidence (and permission) to re-write the script for yourself.

Listen to my interview about the place of money in our lives.

Interest in financial planning? Reach out for more information. 

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